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The love and trust affair

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December 1, 01.15 AM IST

I can’t express how much I love you these days
I wish it was it was only the sex, we had to haste
The moment I gave you a place in my heart
Every time we fought it ripped me to shrapnels apart

I don’t like anger, neither do you?
But I can’t control, the way I am, can you?
You don’t understand how much I love you
You have deep trust paranoia, sad but true

I threw away things that I ever cared for
You misunderstand me, you tell me to fuck off
Be careful next time what you say
Words that hurt, put me in ceaseless dismay

Hell, I can’t fucking count the number of stars
As my body, you left me with so many scars
You asked me to write a poem for you the times we met
Here I am, pouring down my feelings, I am now a whiskey’s pet

You think I am drunk, you think you can blame me
Well, I am slam dunk, you still can’t assume me
I am a man of duty, pride and honor
In love’s court, I plead not guilty your honor!

Past is past, and the past is done, can’t be undone
You can’t recover what’s been said and done
Either we live in the dark, worrying about shattered dreams
Or start a new life spark, with new joyful schemes

I sorry I can’t be like your father or him
I am me! It’s our ego, we both need to trim
At least I have the to courtesy to accept my mistakes
If you confide in me, I don’t have to say you manipulate

Where there is anger, there is intense love
Its fear you monger, allow me to exalt you above
Remember, you used to ask me, "Who am I to you?!"
You realize now, how desperately I am the one who needs you?!

No matter what happens, we are family, we never leave the house
We stick together through our bitterly woes, my spouse
They say two same poles repel each other
We two similar souls, I wonder, can we propel together?

I know, I should learn to treat you better
I am learning, trying hard, and I never regretted
Seems like true care and affection are hard to come by
I happen to think, in my mind they are naturally imbibed

I don’t boast, I am the best you will ever get
I wanna be your dawn to dusk from the sun rise to set
What about my dreams of having kids with you?
You wanna give up, Damn, I thought you thought so too.

Hey baby, don’t you worry, what are you afraid of?
When you have our love to be proud of?!
It’s our life, we gotta live for ourselves
But at first, You gotta start believing in thyself

If I lived for people that will say whatever they say?!
Fuck the society, every fucking dog has its fucking day
You suffer people bitch; you live well, people still bitch
Think, do we have to be their bitch, you bitch?

Baby, I cry when your face strikes my mind
Like it rains, when lightning strikes, so the sky whined
You probably got the same feelings like I do
I object, your claims that you love me more than I do

End of day, it boils down to whether you marry me or not
What will I do, if I don’t tie you the knot?
I gotta ask your parents, how they made you so hot
Especially in bed, when you bring all your naught

You weren’t brought up like me, I will do my best
But, when I am off the edge, you gotta learn to adjust
My mom, your mom, my father, your father
They don’t matter to me anymore as they are farther

I am tired of people around you bleeding you dry
When you run out of money, guess what? They sigh
All our dreams comes don’t come true like in a story book
In real life, you gotta little bit broaden your outlook

I get angry cause it’s about your wellbeing I care
Don’t you question my love and trust, don’t you dare!
I recon I have to be an even kinder man
Or what’s the difference between me and a garbage can?

It’s the love we need to cherish
Not the arguments that will let us perish
None of my words here are meant to piss you
You don’t trust me? hah! I still miss you

It’s surprising that I let another girl become my priority
Sometimes I feel I loaned myself some hypocrisy
Like I don’t follow what I preach
Then I realize, it’s my code, I breached

My love is pure like the orgasm we have, you know it
Thank you for loving me back, to you I owe it
I can’t hold on to my leash when you are naked
Our sexual hormones we unleash, we become sacred

We always fight about our possessiveness, and forgiveness
But now you starting to question my trust, my highness?
I am sitting here thinking about the taint spew on my trust
Labelling me to be stingy and causing unrest

You think its money after all to me that’s important
Let alone my compassion, let it lay dormant
You think I don’t trust you for the loan money
It’s funny, retrospect, is that all you understand me, my honey?

Who should you give money or not? Wishing well for you is my fault?!
When you finger it as my shortcoming and start an assault
My actions may be frenzy, do you fail to see my intentions?
I don’t give up, though I am fed up of these tensions!

The day we give up, our family dies
Worse than a corpse fed by maggot flies
It’s our relationship, we respect
If we are true, ain’t no room for suspect

There is nothing wrong in saving for oneself and being selfish
Though I don’t mean we become scavenger fetish
It’s time we start saving for our marriage
And correct the abortion and all the papaya miscarriage

You like a flower that is soft to even fondly touch
Am I a gardener, not qualified to owe you as such?
I don’t want you be my next failed episode
Hence I write you and dedicate my profound ode

Tit for tat, ain’t gonna make our bonding work
I bash, many times I know I too can be too curt
Will I ever get another partner like you miss?
I still beg you pardon I promise

I know I hurt you too, that’s why I said I am a hypocrite
I want to apologize too, and express my plight
I pretty much had to say what I had in mind
In time you will comprehend the true meaning of my rhyme

-rotandripe

 

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Written by gmaran23

December 1, 2016 at 1:16 am

Posted in literature, love, poems, quotes, rage

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that delicious lamb meat

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That roasted lamb’s a delicacy
It’s parents would have made it with love
Well, they made love, hence the meat

And that exotic sauce on ’em for your taste buds
The chef should have made it with love
Well, he made love, hence the sauce

-rotandripe

Written by gmaran23

October 6, 2016 at 5:56 pm

CandleWax

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This one was supposed to reflect so many things that are going on with the mankind today. Impetus was an intermittent and involuntary insomnia that ensued from responsibilities (read as tortures), restless heart syndrome. Try to relate to a man who is being squashed like a maggot, tossed around with responsibilities and opportunities, and he finds no time to breath, while he inhales and exhales, he doesn’t live. The whole mankind is going in a direction where there is no meaning could be sought out of someone’s life, well in that case, mankind doesn’t exist. Employers leeching on for cheap labors; plans and dreams get shatterred because of working on fulfilling somebody else’s day dream, 9-5 run of the mill job like a machine that runs the mill. Written back in May 2012 on a restless night. Here it is, rotandripe

 

Song:

With opportunities the mankind’s besieged

Plotted outcomes never achieved

Underpaid laborers  got leeched

In their minds remained deceased

Life fragmented prudent and wise

Indulging in Reluctant exercise

Forfeiting desires, what has been gained?

A fatigue soul, dazed and maimed

Mechanical way chosen to live

Realized to be addictive

Like gullible mule in turbulent maze

Bruised ego broken flowers in a haze

 

-rotandripe

From the draft section:

With opportunities the Mankind’s besieged

Plotted outcomes Never achieved 

Mechanical way chosen to live

Realized later they are addictive

Yielding to the war with Tyranny

The oppression dealt In agony

Razor blades under neck Sailing further

Rays of hope falling Apart farther

Jaws hooked in bait So dubious

A sinister that seemingly obvious

Life gone fragmented Planned prudent and wise

Indulging oneself in Reluctant exercise

Like gullible mule in Turbulent maze

With bruised ego broken Flowers in vase 

Forfeiting the desires What has been gained?

A fatigue soul dazed And maimed

Sedated to eternity Slept in peace

Slept in peace Opportunities un-seized

Written by gmaran23

August 28, 2013 at 5:10 pm

Posted in literature, poems, quotes, rage

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Oxymora and Paradoxes from Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare

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This is such a wonderful, passionate, and incredible list of Oxymora and Paradoxes that Romeo tries to gather  himself as he’s sitting at the beach. The rendition of the dialogue by Romeo (Leo DiCaprio) which is partly edited in the movie Romeo + Juliet will directly communicate with your senses and talk to you, if you have that penchant for art and movies. Later, you might go back to your book and read the dialogue aloud yourself. While you are at it, if you just want to conjure up, you don’t essentially need to be in love with someone or something; from my point of view, this dialogue – besides being a bunch of words contradicting themselves – should frantically appeal to you at your solitary viewpoint.

 

….

….

Here’s much to do with hate, but more with love
Why, then, O brawling love! O loving hate!
O any thing, of nothing first create!
O heavy lightness, serious vanity!
Mis-shapen chaos of well-seeming forms!
Feather of lead, bright smoke, cold fire, sick health!
Still-waking sleep, that is not what is is!
This love feel I, that feel no love in this.

Written by gmaran23

June 1, 2013 at 9:23 am

everybody’s born, is there a difference?

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A rather too nihilistic discernment.

 

Everybody’s born, is there a difference?

In a broad generalization,
Some babies are genetically engineered,
Some babies are planned, conceived and born,
Some babies are residues of passionate love making,
Some babies are the cursed artifacts of filthy unprotected sex!

 

rotandripe

 

you might also find crowd-cattle-and-breed-rate and infant-sorrow-by-william-blake interesting.

Written by gmaran23

March 28, 2013 at 12:59 am

Posted in literature, love, poems, quotes, rage

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Better man in paradise land …

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Written back in 2011 mid December I guess, for my friend Shelly, when we shared a moment. Already a song with some nice music. Some parts of it, I could allow to be called exaggeration, while some of it are just what it means. One of the best buddies I have at work, I could go on and on, if you get me started.. so, here it is, rot, and ripe.

 

Better man in Paradise land

You crawled in to my brain and read everything
what do I hide from you now? except for nothing

you took a stroll down my memory lane
leaving your footprints driving me insane

am I too happy because I have found a friend?
am I still sloppy because my troubles can never end?

—-
I am excited to be here with you
I am glad for I have become a better man

I am excited to be here with you
Another good day holding your hands
—-

Why is the sun shining at me so bright
while the breeze cuddles like she’s holding me tight

When I was falling she caught me right in the air
Beat me and taught me that she always cares

Would you let me worship you from my ivory tower?
Lock me up darling, can we stay in this moment forever?

—-
I am excited to be here with you
I am glad for I have become a better man

I am excited to be here with you
Earning my way to the paradise land
—-

you.. you.. you.. you

You crawled in to my brain and read everything
what do I hide from you now? except for nothing

you took a stroll down my memory lane
leaving your footprints driving me insane

am I too happy because I have found a friend?
am I still sloppy because my troubles can never end?

—-
I am excited to be here with you
I am glad for I have become a better man

I am excited to be here with you
Earning my way to the paradise land
—-

-rotandripe

 

oh yeah, that ivory tower part was borrowed from Eddie Vedder’s Hard Sun.

 

BetterMan

Written by gmaran23

January 18, 2013 at 6:07 pm

Posted in literature, love, poems, quotes

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I pray for you .. my truelove

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It’s been a long time since I wrote a song, a complete set of free flowing thoughts that I could call a song – way back in July 2012 I think. Many bits and pieces I wrote, un-organizized. Something happened, something  provoked and stirred me up today, beyond my apathy apathetic laziness to write this down. This is version one and bound to succumb many changes as I play some guitar strums for it. so, here is is raw, rot, and ripe.

 

I pray for you

———————————————————-

Ever since the day we walked down the aisle
Couldn’t know that my living would be worthwhile

My loneliness’s eluded with the tenderness of your touch
Every morning while we woke up with fingers clutched

It’s your innocence that constantly drew me towards you
I realized the meaning of ecstasy when I lay beside you

———————————————————
I seem to pray; I seem to trust in my prayers
I pray for you to be with me in eternity
I pray for a world made only for you and me
———————————————————

The perfection in crafting your body and mind
Willingly beguiled me to claim every bit of you, mine

The warmth in your heart attested to sheer comfort
Cleansed me off my hatred and bitterly discomforts

Glued by this inexplicable nature, we shared love
Parting from you would’ve been my last day, my truelove

———————————————————
I seem to pray; I seem to trust in my prayer
I pray for strength with you as my armor
I pray for you to be with me in eternity
I pray for a world made only for you and me
———————————————————

 

– rotandripe

Written by gmaran23

January 18, 2013 at 5:42 pm

Posted in literature, love, poems, quotes

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crowd, cattle, and breed rate

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At work, or on your way to work;

at school, being in such a clan is so cool;

the indispensable part of social unions;

not so long ago, touched many billions.

Everyplace your eyes may see,

rampage resembles a cattle feed.

The sanctity inherent in their creed,

couldn’t control rate at which they breed.

 

 

from a crowd despising (sic) man.

 

Put a cap on it! – www.putacaponit.in or just Pull it out! before we surpass the mass of the earth.

Written by gmaran23

January 10, 2013 at 12:32 am

Posted in literature, poems, quotes, rage

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The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost

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Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;


Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

 

Notes: http://www.sparknotes.com/poetry/frost/section7.rhtml

 

P.S. Notes borrowed from an unknown source on the world wide web. Poem is posted here for relish and educational purposes, and is copyrighted to respective Authors and Publishers.

Written by gmaran23

January 5, 2013 at 2:31 pm

Posted in literature, poems, quotes

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Infant Sorrow by William Blake

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My mother groan’d! my father wept.
Into the dangerous world I leapt.
Helpless, naked, piping loud;
Like a fiend hid in a cloud.

Struggling in my father’s hands,
Striving against my swaddling bands;
Bound and weary I thought best
To sulk upon my mother’s breast.

 

Notes:

This poem belongs to the “Songs of Experience” by William Blake. It is the counter poem of “Infant Joy”. The poem suggests that childbirth is not always joyful and happy but can bring sorrow and pain. The response of the child itself may be different from that of the child in “Infant Joy” because of the behavior of the parents. In this poem the parents seem depressed by this unwanted birth, and this may be reflecting on the child itself. This poem could be considered as a work of societal allusion. It is well known that William Blake was strongly opposed to the industrial revolution; similarly, he was opposed to the mistreatment of children by rich factory owners. When the infant is being brought helpless and naked to the “dangerous world”, this world refers to the industrial revolution. The “swaddling bands” represent the fat that infants are born with, initially to insulate them and provide some form of defense against their inherent vulnerability. Blake utilizes this as a symbol of temporary security. While the child is young, he/she will be nurtured and protected by their parents. But once the child matures, they will find a life devoid of any joy or pleasure, such as working in the factories with no security. The child decides to “sulk” upon the breast of the mother’s child, almost in a manner that allows the child to enjoy what little comfort it has left. This poem is powerful in the sense that it outlines the desperate, sorrowful situation facing all ill-mannered children once they begin to grow and become strong machine operators.

One thing that generally goes unnoticed in this poem is the use of the past tense to describe this birth. The speaker is no longer a baby: he has had some experience of the dangerous world and he turns back to see the dreadful moment when – like a fiend, not like an angel – he came to life. The verb leapt suggests his exhausted mother’s last push after a painful labor, with no tender arms to take and cuddle this creature. The baby found itself half stifled with the poor bandage wrapped around its tiny body and its father’s hands to hold him tight. He tried to free himself, as hard as he could, but his attempt was vain and in the end he could only surrender and “sulk upon … mother’s breast”. The struggle is symbolical of any attempt of contrasting tyrannical oppressive power (the father, the institutions, the church itself…) and the final moment of surrender is the negative acceptance of one’s destiny.

 

P.S. Notes borrowed from an unknown source on the world wide web. Poem is posted here for relish and educational purposes, and is copyrighted to respective Authors and Publishers.

Written by gmaran23

January 5, 2013 at 2:24 pm